One of the reasons so many people fail at online dating is because they never actually talk with the people the match with. What good does it do if you spend all day staring at your matches or people you’re interested in without actually saying anything? In short, you’re not getting anywhere because ñ I donít mean to be harsh but ñ youíre too much of a pussy to send the first message.
The only way youíre going to land yourself a date or at least a solid hook up is by having a conversation. You need to say something, otherwise, you’re never going to get what you want. In case youíre in the need of a pep talk, here are a few reasons why you should message first:
1. Your chances of getting some go up immediately
If you don’t send a message first, the other person is likely to do the same. And then no one is talking and your match could expire, or you’ll be forgotten about in a sea of faces. If you’re looking to get laid (which everyone is, some way or another) your chances of doing so will go up with each first message. By sending that first message you’re infinitely more likely to meet the person on the other end, go on a date, and/or end up back at their place.
2. You Get to Set the Tone for the Convo
If youíre looking for something specific, whether that be a fuck buddy or a girl/boyfriend or something in between, youíll be able to set the tone for a conversation as to almost immediately communicate what you want. For instance, if youíre looking for some instant gratification in the form of hooking up, you can immediately get the conversation going in that direction by sending a sexy message. If you’re in the market for something more serious you’ll be able to set the tone by sending a cute and clever message.
By messaging first, you get to essentially dominate the conversation, eliminating wasted time trying to figure out what the other wants.
3. You’ll Seem Confidant
By sending the first message, youíll immediately come off as more confidant. Youíll be giving off the vibe that you are unafraid to get the ball rolling and that you are a person who knows what they want. All of which are attractive qualities in all genders. Confidence is attractive, don’t you want to make yourself seem as attractive as possible?
4. The Other Will be Glad to Not Message First
The best part about you messaging first is that you take the pressure off of the person you’re messaging. They easily could have been sitting there with their thumb over the send button, anxious to make the first move. But since youíve taken the opportunity to do so, theyíll instantly feel relieved and will feel more comfortable sending the second message in the conversation.
5. You’ll be Successful
What is the point of online dating if you get nothing out of it? Spending time swiping and matching and staring at photographs and bios won’t get you a date. Talking will. So, I encourage you to relax, think of something witty to say, and press send first.
Want more info on who should text first? Then check out the video below!